I realized last year that I write this newsletter for 3 people.

The first is my 20 year old self. The one that lost his mind.

The one that, in that final sense, almost quit.

The second and third are my yet-to-born children. For whatever reason, I imagine a boy and a girl, many years in the future, reading these newsletters as a way to understand their father.

This audience of three keeps me more than honest. They keep me earnest and audacious.

Earnest because I'd rather die than be found fraudulent by my children.

Audacious because they'll need to be to doula their dharmas.

I write today from the weekend before the second iteration of my current audacious art project.

Starting Monday, I'll be teaching my second Mentally Fit class.

The artistic fever dream is that after running and iterating this class 6 times over the next 2 years, I'm going to distill it into a Ph.D. level dissertation that will argue that the protocol in this class is a new kind of psychotherapy. That the data I will have gathered from the 6 classes warrants scientific investigation, and that the experimental evidence will show that the protocol is more effective than standard psychotherapy.

I can see that happening.

The core of the class is this:

We've got a good map for the mind's teleology.

The scientific language is that the mind has developmental stages we can measure and track. The scientifically robust developmental map is called the STAGES matrix.

This is a really big deal.

Many consider teleology unscientific (but if you examine this, it is because people conflate the process of science with scientific materialism, and the mind having a teleology is destabilizing to that worldview).

Many consider hierarchy equivalent to abuse, injustice, and power. The STAGES matrix reveals a developmental hierarchy. Not all hierarchy is pathological. Healthy hierarchies are generative.

Many would consider the fact that I'm teaching this, because I don't have the proper credentials, as, at best irresponsible, and at worst, dangerous.

They would say I'm not qualified. That unless one has the proper letters at the end of their name, one shouldn't talk about mental health, therapy, or healing.

They'd say that, because I charge to teach this class, I'm a grifter, and that if my students report it changed their life, it is because I'm a cult leader.

But I'm teaching this class for two reasons:

1. I believe in it. I've put 13 years of research into it.
2. The world I see is on fire, and this is my best attempt to help in a way that can continue to help after I die and after anyone remembers my name.

And I don't expect anyone in academia to respect this or me lol

I'm doing this because the 20 year old in me loves it.

I'm doing it because I know what I'm teaching saved his life.

I'm sharing this story because on one level, I have no fucking business doing what I'm doing. I'm trying to create a new scientifically valid psychotherapy through entrepreneurship. I will likely go unnoticed or be mocked (in the uniquely passive-aggressive way intellectuals are capable of being over a keyboard).

On another level, I want my kids to know this story. I want them to walk this life bursting with audacity, and to balance that with the scientific process. I want them to know that if they 'build in public,' they can build almost anything.

And I want the dharma artists in hiding who read this newsletter and listen to my podcast to grow up and put their dharma into the world.

Even though you don't have the degree.
Even though you don't have the most experience.
Even though you arn't the most beautiful.
Even though your family will judge you.
Even though you will be mocked.
Even though someone else already does it and does it better.

The truth is; your soul doesn't give a fuck about the reasons why not to walk in your dharma. Your soul only cares about whether or not you do.

If you don't, you will suffer.

If you do, you find yourself at the pulsing edge of an infinite game, with God as audience, captivated, wondering what you'll do next.

God is not done. God is growing. Each of us sits at the edge of the divine infinity. Our actions weave the next braid.

Live a story so audacious that failing would be a story you'd want your kids to hear.

Song I'm Listening on Repeat

​Hucci - Street League​

Quotes I'm Enjoying

The following is from a voice Buckminster Fuller heard in his mind as he was about to drown himself:

The following is from Kurt Vonnegut in a letter to a student: